screwed

another fucked up day.
how i wished i went home emoing infront of the com.hah

usual rehearsal again.
sm fuck-tard got so irritated over god-noes-wat-shit.
started scolding like noones business.
worse of all, i was being dragged into the whole shit!
wtf?

i asked him 4 permission dan he agreed.
but dan juz now he told me it was the opposite.
WTF?
im like.if u say dun, will i insist?no i swear.
let me tell u smthing.
u attitude me, i attitude back.
happy or not, i dun care.

sec1s were SHIT.
play poker cards, slacked ard.
fuck it la.
everything screwed up who to blame?
me!fucking hell me again.
how i wished i had sm stupid fucktard post n juz slack the whole of my NCO life.

i seriously cant stand this.
i feel like im useless.
im speechless.
im too reckless.
i cant do nething well.
i screwed up everything.
i want to do everything on my own, but mess up everything.
i want to be a perfectionist, but i cant.
i want to give up, but i cant!
I CANT.

i cant bear to lose everything tat i have worked so hard for.
i feel tat im too childish smtimes.
i duno when to b serious, when not to joke.
i juz want to change.
im unhappy over all the shitty things i get.
i got to change my attitude.
how i wished i was a innocent kid.
smile, laugh, play n willing to do things so willingly.
so naively.

u guys vent all ur anger on me.
then who shall i vent my anger at?