failure

sometimes i wonder what the heck am i doing.
when its time to study, i dont study.
seriously i wonder wats my aim in life.

i often dream about being an aeronaut engineer,
earning lots n lots of money, leading a comfortable life in the future.
all this just seems perfect.

but the reality is that if i dont start working hard enough, this will never happen.
all of a sudden, i feel the lack of motivation in life, to do well in my studies.
sleeping in lectures, flunging tests.
it all seems to be part of my life now.

sometimes i tink that i really do suck as a child.
not doing my part to do well in my studies.

but i dont know.
i just fking cant get down to work.
i am rotten.

i feel like killing myself for that.