changes

its only a few months since poly life started.
i think alot of things have changed.
all around us.
even i have changed i guess.lol.
good or bad?i duno.

i feel rather awkard and uneasy smtimes.
people will talk abt u, comment abt u once u do smthing disgusting/weird/watever.
it feels kinda restricting.
i duno y i have this mentality, but yea it sucks.
and somehow,
now i have this thought of being "careful" not to expose too much of myself too others.
i duno why.
mayb im just affected by those around me.
backstabbers/watever names u can find to call those people.

u suddenly find urself stranded on this "islands" with a bunch of "strangers"
u think u may have know them well, but in the next moment, they change.
and yea, in poly/jc life we are exposed to another new/large group of people.
mayb tats the reason why they start to put on "masks" to cover their "true identity"?
to protect themselves from people.
and only take off the masks once they feel tat the other party is mark as "safe"
but however, once they show their true self to the other party,
the other party actually changes to another person.
its just like a vicious cycles.
it continues on and on.
u will not know when its gonna stop.

the bottom line is tat,
i dun feel comfortable at all in this community.
i miss the environment in TK.
i miss how i fooled ard with my friends,
not bothering how disgusting or weird i am,
for i know that watever i do,
they will accept me.
'cos thats just who i am(was?).
but whats gone is gone.
i dont mind sacrificing to bring those back.

here today

Paul McCartney - Here Today
And if I say I really knew you well
What would your answer be.
If you were here today.
Ooh- ooh- ooh- here to - day.

Well knowing you,
You'd probably laugh and say that we were worlds apart.
If you were here today.
Ooh- ooh- ooh- here to - day.

But as for me,
I still remember how it was before.
And I am holding back the tears no more.
Ooh- ooh- ooh- I love you, ooh-

What about the time we met,
Well I suppose that you could say that we were playing hard to get.
Didnt understand a thing.
But we could always sing.

What about the night we cried,
Because there wasnt any reason left to keep it all inside.
Never understood a word.
But you were always there with a smile.

And if I say I really loved you
And was glad you came along.
If you were here today.
Ooh- ooh- ooh- for you were in my song.
Ooh- ooh- ooh- here to - day.



if you were here today.

discipline.

i LACK self-discipline.
someone please make me study!

noone

noone UNDERSTANDS.
noone EVER will.
noone MAKES a point to.
noone GIVES a fuck to.
noone KNOWS whats happening.
noone CARES to know.


noone 's READING.
noone 's LISTENING.
noone 's BOTHERING.

maybeitallstartedwheniwasbulliedduringsecondaryschool,

i hate MYSELF.
i hate how i FUCKING think.
i hate how i keep BLAMING the past.
i hate how i PISS my parents off everytime.
i hate the fact that i CONFIDE everthing in myself.
i hate how i CRY everytime.

thatnowiampyschologicallyandemotionallyaffected.

i hate the fact that noone's here for me,
whenever im feeling down.

randoom

aye!

im feeling a little bored and tired after staring at my notes for awhile.haha.

so i shall upload some pics to brg COLOUR to my blog.

but wait!

let me do some rantings first (:

1st of all.today was kinda fucked up.lol

the cprog teacher chase me out of class for throwing tissue at yh after he asked me for tissue -_-

mayb she abit tulan with me for playing with the keyboard.

guess she was just trying to find excuses to get my fucking ass out of the class la.."LIKE WATEVER LORXZXZ"

mayb im a clown oso la..lol.

2ndly, i have like 2retests this week, 1 test.

1retest for ematl tml, 1 etech test tml too.

the thermo retest is on friday.

then i have CRS presentation this thursday.i tink its tentatively this week.

i dun wanna drag it to next week man..

stressed up la!ARRRRGH

i feel like killing myself.i cant study for nutssssss.

okay 3rdly and lastly,

im frigging lacking sleep.

the weekends were kinda basically drinking and cip-ing.

so we started sch on monday like zombies already la...

studying for tests, doing ammendments to the crs ppt till late night

killer...i guess i gonna be damn hot tempered this week.

lol.i tink i need to go into a 2days coma fr sat - sun.sleep and sleep.

then i will go back sch like an Energizer!

alrite im done with my whinings/rantings.WATEVER!

so pictures time!

tadaaa~ here i go.

one fine day, back to 'Ol Tk.

funny sign i came across while doing the east connector.

somewhere on sentosa.

SALUTE!

POP of NCOs 07/08.NP pledge.

their "Last Bersurai"

the much anticipated.

The Red Devil.

FOR SPARTA!

warm up

well, did i mention it tat time?
i read through my entire archives of my blog.
well i gotta tell u im freaking embarrassed.
lol childish n dumb posts were all over the place.
from sec 2 - 3 i tink.hahahah.
some were shit funny man..
oh and please...

DON'T read them all.lol if not i will be freaking malu-ed la.hahaha

haha.anyways.
i gotta start my engine now and warm it up
before i screw my work up.
i duno whether i was lucky or wat:
i scored 232 for psle with a record of not really good results since p1.
i got l1r4 of 13 if im not wrong.with SHIT resuly since sec1.
came into DARE(diploma in aeronautical engineering)
dun tink i will be able to come out of this shit with good results again.
reason why?
this is a 3year-long marathon.
not a few exams-sprint.

maybe, i had my lucky charm during O's.
guess i need someone to STARE at me and FORCE me to study.lol


someone, please.wake me up.

busy wkend

all rite. this weekend was hectic.

drinking party at ryan's.
heres wat we drank at his hse.
tequila, absolut vodka, absolut mandarin, baileys irish cream.
basically, there was like about 10+bottles of alcohol on the table.
ate some wings and satays.
the bbq people were good man.the food they bbqed were nice.

then there was this "fat bastard" coming ard n forcing pple to drink.
so its like everyone had to drink la.
the alcohol were like 40% and they were kinda "WOO~"
everyone was kinda high after tat.
we were like fking crazy la.hahaha.

oh n yea..i kinda regretted after DOING or TRYING something.
sry guys ): but luckily it was only abit.
but yea.i still regretted it. forgive me pleeeeasee. ):

alright so after we left, we went to get another carlsberg to sum things up.hahaha
the bus trip to the interchange n mrt fr pasir ris back was crazy.
we were joking and laughing like it was our grandpa's train.
so after tat.it was HOME.
still feeling abit high.

sat i was kinda suffering from a hangover
stayed at home.

so today, we went for CIP
MILKRUN!
woa..it was kinda long day n blah blah...
too dumb for me to elaborate.
its CIP.wat can u expect?lol